It’s a *very* small world

For the unitiated, I’m currently wrapping up my semester here in Roma – only two weeks left, and boy, is that some scary shit – at the Intercollegiate Center for Classical Studies. I must emphasize, this is a consortium program – there is not another soul here from Georgetown. Not a single person I knew before hauling my ass via intercontinental flight to this glorious city. So both these incidents which I shall relate enforced how little you actually leave behind.

A few weeks ago, a friend here – we’ll call her Liz, because that’s her name – related to me a story, at once fascinating and horrifying. It involved an acquaintance, quite drunk on a boat, making the brilliant decision to jump on a manatee he spotted in the water. Unfortunately for said drunkard, this was a dead manatee, and he went straight through. Yes, that’s disgusting. But the point isn’t the story; it’s that I had heard this story before, in one of my Georgetown english classes. We had to prepare autobiographical stories, which were then shared to the class. I read this particular story and I recall it distinctly because I couldn’t stop laughing while attempting to read it to the class. Sadly, because the stories were presented anonymously, I haven’t the foggiest who is responsibile for such mayhem. Still, that dawning realization that I knew how Liz’s story would end was fascinating – like being stuck in a time warp.

That would be amusing enough, but just recently it also emerged that my good friend from high school’s buddy from college, who I have actually met twice, is the step-brother of another girl here. Despite all the incessant pestering about whether you knew so-and-so and such institution that predictably ensued when individuals from about 30 schools coalesced into one unit, all this information came out fairly late in the process.

It’s fascinating to me how the smallest thing can strengthen a bond. These coincidences, while cool trivia, are just that, coincidences. But somehow they can carry more force than that. They become focal points; they don’t make relationships – both of these factoids emerged within the context of pre-existing friendships – but they do seem to strengthen them. Funny how we seem value these indirect connections to people with whom we already have perfectly decent direct connections.

Advertising and Japanese Society

The Japanese are stereotyped as a polite and reserved people in the US, and like all stereotypes there is some truth to that assesment: recently it’s not been as obvious as it must have been when Americans first came to Japan, but the Japanese are actually quite polite by western standards. If I had to guess, I’d say it comes from their origins as an island nation. Like England, their society seems to have evolved around the constant need to get along with those around them; especially today, space is at a premium and the Japanese have had to learn to get along with each other in close quarters. For this purpose, there is a strict seperation of behavior that is acceptable in public, and behavior that is allowable in private. Many Japanese, as a result of this divide, tend to be non-confrontational and passive in how they deal with things. If you do something that upsets them, it’s likely they’ll go out of their way to avoid you instead of resolving the problem.

That’s why advertising in Japan surprises me. Tonight was the second time since I got here that someone has come to my door selling something. The first time was a missionary – he spoke un-accented English, and I simply assumed that he was the exception rather than the norm. The next time, though, was some random college kid selling subscriptions to the Asahi Shinbun. What the heck? If most Japanese don’t like being confronted in public, why would it be okay to confront them at their home? One assumes the Shinbun knows what they’re doing – they ARE one of the biggest newspapers in the world – but how does that fit Japanese culture?

Another example of this that I can think of is the more traditional standard. Handing out packets of tissues, toilet paper, or magazines. Basically – the tissues or toilet paper are necessities in Japan (since public restrooms don’t have them), so you just print your ad on the back of the pack. People take it because they might need it, and then read it later. The magazines are just samples, of course, but there are ads in those too. The important part here is that people are paid to stand outside and hand them to random passers by. Also, the same stores pay employees to stand outside and yell at you to come in. Most people seem to just ignore these attempts – but if Japanese stores are still paying people to do it, it MUST be working in some measurable way, right?

From what one learns about Japan in America, you might just assume that they all walked around with their heads down hoping not to be noticed or harassed – and to some extent that does happen. The majority of Japanese, however, are nothing like that. I think the thing fighting that Public/Private delimma in this case might be the cultural association between business and personal contact. For whatever reason, business here seems largely built on personal relationships – maybe these things are a way to go beyond the traditional bill-board advertising and actually make contact with customers? That and, of course, they’re cheaper than big advertising…

Don’t get me wrong – they have all the usual forms of advertising, and they’re clearly working (look outside your train window next time you’re on a JR line- people’s apartments even have signs hanging off their balconies – SOMEONE’S paying them to put them there!) – it’s just that you see arguably a lot more of the more person-to-person type. I wonder why we don’t do that in the US?

Damn you Encyclopaedia Britannica!

Well – I suppose I should be grateful that I don`t actually have to join in order to see the whole article… But because I need to post the link on a webserver for it to work, you all get to see it too!

An article on Lobbying Tactics

That’s Amore

Japanese women (or men) not your thing? Want to seduce sun-bathed Mediterranean beauties instead? With this, I can help you. In my sojourn here, I am always glad to know that the filthy minds at Frommer’s at my assistance. Without further adieu…

You are very attractive. Sei molto bello(/a) [Oh, inflected adjectives. How quaint.]
Kiss me. Baciami.
Would you like a massage? Ti piacerebbe un massaggio? [ooh, the conditional!]
Would you like to come inside?/Could I come inside? Voui entrare?/Posso entrare? [Sadly, the Italian doesn't capture the sublime innuendo. Oh well.]
You smell so good. Hai un buon profumo.

This is where it gets hot and heavy, so small children should probably avert their eyes and go read Dr. Suess. Or their parents’ Playboys. At least then it’s not my problem.

Do you have a condom? Hai un preservatio?
Do you have anything you should tell me first? Hai qualcosa da dirmi prima di continuare?

Page 182 from Frommer’s Italian Phrasefinder is one of the greatest things in the universe. It is entitled “Back to It”. Witness.

That’s it. Ecco, si.
That’s not it. No, non cosi.
Here. Qui.
There. Li.
More. Ancora.
Harder. Piu forte.
Faster. Piu veloce.
Deeper. Piu profundo.

That’s all well and good. But the really important things to know are what follow.

I’m sorry. I have to go now. Mi dispiace. Ora devo andare.
I have an early flight. Il mio volo parte presto.
Will you make me breakfast too? Puoi preparare la colazione anche per me?

And lastly, the greatest single phrase in the Italian language. Credo che questo sia stato un errore. I think that this was a mistake.

Now you too can talk like a suave Italian uomo. Just don’t start groping* women on buses. That’s not cool.

*Or stare at my friend while obviously touching yourself when I’m not there to punch you in the face. Eww.

Japanese Lesson 一発!

Yakuza Japanese
For all those of you who always wanted to learn how to sound like a gang member when you go to Japan, check this site out (linked directly to the vocab section). My personal favorite is “かためて沈める” – “katameteshizumeru” – literally “To encase someone in concrete and sink them”. Sweet.

Sex in Japanese
Because you know it’s what everyone wants to know. The following links handle the topic with wit and aplomb:
Having Sex in Japanese
Making Love in Japanese
Just for good measure:
Japanese Pick-up Lines

Lastly, somewhere inbetween the other two: Speak Offensive Japanese Today!

Remember folks – please enjoy responsibly. Thank you.

Taiwan – a US Territory?

Recently, I was doing some research for a brief for work that I probably shouldn’t really talk about.

During the course of that research, however, I came across this article. The man who wrote it – Richard W. Hartzell – is a US native who has lived in Taiwan for around 30 years now. He’s an international law scholar, among other things. It is his opinion (one that he makes quite an exhaustive argument for on his website that Taiwan independence is impossible. Instead, he says, Taiwan should try to be recognized as part of the US. Under the San Francisco Treaty, wherein Japan ceded “Formosa” and “The Pescadores”, Taiwan’s ownership was never transfered to a specific country. International law precedent points, therefore, to the US being the controlling power. Of course – if Taiwan DID join the US, the assumed consequence is eventual independence down the road.

My question here is this: What does he expect China to do about this? My understanding is that the Taiwan issue, for China, is largely one of territorial security. China worries that if they start giving up territory – even to independence instead of a competing state – it will look like they can’t control their territories and seriously undermine the Communist Party’s claims of complete control. It is for this reason that China so often plays the game of “la-la-la-la-I can’t hear you!” when confronted with hard facts that they don’t like. Even if the reality is other than what they claim it is, the party’s control over access to information in mainland China makes it easy for them to convince their people that they are somewhat stronger and more unified than they really are. In keeping with this theme, China has claimed that Taiwan has “always been part of China” (or at least has been so for long enough that Taiwan is seen as historically part of China).

If this is the case, then it really doesn’t matter how Taiwan decides to go about gaining their freedom – to China, joining the US would be largely equivalent to declaring independence. Does Hartzell think that by joining the US Taiwan would somehow be protected and everyone would be fine? Somehow I don’t think telling China that under international law they “never really owned Taiwan to begin with” is an effective or particularly new approach to defusing the tense situation in the straits. The thought that Taiwan could legally be part of the US is intriguing, but the US would never act on the possibility, and even if we did there would be no improvement in the situation in the straits. All that would be accomplished is increasing polarization of powers around the straits and yet another security threat for the US to worry about.

More problems…

So the gallery’s up and operational… But the theme we’re using screws with the embedded gallery feature in Wordpress. So… We’re looking at new themes. Until then, you can check out all the pics I’ve uploaded by clicking here.

Not to worry – we CAN imbed pictures in posts – you just can’t see all the pictures without accessing the Gallery externally. Once all the technical-side stuff is fixed, posts will come more regularly :-p

A present for Bri…

In celebration of the functionality of my new Gallery plug-in (and perhaps to make sure it works…) I’m posting this marvelous video of a guy I saw on Yoyogi Bridge in Harajuku. This one is a special present for Bri – though pictures of Life are coming soon, I promise!

Apparently, though, the various plug-ins I have installed don’t allow you to embed videos, so until I find one that solves this problem, enjoy the video through the following link:

Yoyogi Bridge Dancer Guy

Edit:

I guess I CAN use this plugin for that. The video is as follows:

Web development shouldn’t be this hard…

Seriously! It took me all weekend to get the gallery plugin working. I had to uninstall and reinstall it twice – and on FTP, that takes FOREVER.

Gallery is up and running now, though. So posts – especially ones with pictures – are forthcoming… For now, though, I’m off to scrape together 3 and a half hours of sleep before I have to get up to get to class. Wish me survival – because luck would be asking for too much

Robots in Japan

I won’t bother hiding it: I like robots. More broadly, I like toys. Japan is like hell for toy enthusiasts.

Now – normally you’d think a veritable Mecca of giant robot toys would be awesome, right? Wrong. The trick here lies in the fact that I was perfectly happy NOT knowing what all’s out there. Every time I go to Japan, my horizons are broadened to some new type of toy that is Absolutely Fabulous and a Definite Must-Have.

Needless to say, this can only end in the complete eradication of my savings account. It seems this year’s new push (after a short flirt with the new Bakugan toys, which are a little too expensive for my tastes) are the Busou Shinki figures (Okay – mostly just Xiphos because she caters to my recent Fate/Stay Night addiction (besides – it’s impossible to find blank bodies for the EX sets – which’re the other cool ones)) and Gunbuster, DanCougar, and Assault Type Aquarion (which is remolded from Sousei no Aquarion, which I already have, but which is SO NICE as to merit buying anyways). Soul of Chogokin is one hell of a push, too – the toys are VERY expensive. Most are between $100 and $150 each… So I’ve got to watch it. I will probably stick with Gunbuster and maybe AS Aquarion… Dancougar is nice, but I hear mixed things about how well it holds up. Also, AS Aquarion is available en masse at my local Bic Camera, where buying it gets me 10% in points that I can turn around and buy more stuff with. Fuckin’ A.

This trend was only worsened by the discovery of the sale rack at my local Life store (yes – apparently life is for sale all in one place, and they offer a member rewards package!). For 500en each I picked up Kamen Rider Todoroki’s changer (Ongeki?), the green gorilla Disk Animal, Wolzard’s Wolphone from Magiranger, A (Airleon) and N (Needlestego) from Mugenbine. I also picked up a few of the Bakugan toys mentioned earlier – which turned out to be VERY simple toys (Basically, you throw a little plastic ball onto a magnetic card and it opens into a robot or animal) and cost about 500en each – and a Gekiranger Bubblebath Egg. $37 total. Not too shabby… I only just resisted picking up GoGoJet for another 1000en. I may still, if I can find the other GoGo Vehicles cheap… I still haven’t even been to Akihabara yet.

Only tangentally related… I had to buy a cellphone here (which was free – but the charger cost 900en – WTF?), and when I did, the store gave me two packets of tissue, two packets of q-tips, and an alarm clock. Maybe they should be working with Life? The phone is awesome, though. It has a dictionary, infrared data-transfer, comes with an e-mail account, 3 megapixel camera with 10x digital zoom as well as portrait and macro settings, a searchlight (?) and full web access. Other stuff, too, but I’m not really sure how to use it all…

I mention this in a post about toys because both the phone and the Wolphone were sitting on my desk last night when someone sent me an e-mail or called me. Reaching towards it, I stumbled groggily towards the conclusion that I was, in fact, reaching for the wrong one, but didn’t quite make it… And almost threw the Wolphone out the window. A frustrating, if ultimately money-saving mistake.

Now if only I could figure out how to set up some sort of “I’m sleeping, and if you ring/vibrate/send elves to harass me I will KILL YOU” setting for my phone…